Pickling Life

This has been the summer of pickleball for me. I am lucky enough to have a therapy job that frees up months at a time making room for me to explore.  This summer I spent hours at open play and pickleball camp, competed in ladder leagues and mixed doubles. I met people who quickly became friends and opponents who raised my aggressive haunches by their strut on the court or dismissive attitude.  I played in my first tournament and got a Dupre rating; so much pickleball and it was just for me.   As I stood in the outfield of Fenway Park, paddle in hand, I realized that I had to write about this wildfire of a sport.  I was next to the Green Monster when it became clear to me how pickleball mirrors life in so many ways.

In that moment, I watched Jared’s, my partner and husand, frustration roar after a call that he thought was unfair.  Like many of us, our biggest strength can also trip us up.  For Jared it is his sense of justice.  His frustration over a line call caused him to be too emotional, then balls went out and into the net. This only fueled the negativity. His anxiety activated mine and we were no longer partners but a struggling couple on the court.  Our lead was lost and we were behind.  In my effort to help him contain it, I called a time out. “Just let it go” I told him, not understanding that his inability to let it go was what was really frustrating him and it took over our game in that moment.  A therapist’s twist on the popular title and slogan “Pickleball is Life”.

If you are like me and hooked on this game of Pickleball, you know it brings fulfillment in so many ways, and you are also aware of your personal patterns that follow you onto the court. I am developing a better awareness of how one mindset can set me up for failure and another can keep me present in the play and more successful. As your Pickleball Therapist, I want to use this sport as a launching pad to explore the inner self, thoughts, feelings and behaviors and help all of us develop awareness to help you observe and change what isn’t working; this is the key to growing and thriving. I am always working to find innovative ways to destigmatize mental health and support folks to feel more grounded from the inside out. In this Blog and through my writing I hope to be helpful to you both on and off the court.

If you are wondering what did Jared and I do after that Fenway match to process and learn?  First, we named what happened which meant we had to hear what each other was saying.  We decided that I will not coach him when his emotions run high, I need to keep quiet!  Jared is working to use 3 skills to ground himself and get out of that high emotional state; has created his own “this point has passed” mantra to use, takes 2 deep breaths and focuses only on the ball until feeling more settled.  Knowing what to do before a match is key, because in the heat of the moment it can be hard to think.  As his partner I need to trust that he will try and that I have his back either way. 

No process is perfect and it will take practice on both our parts. Like the drilling exercise we do to learn how to return consistently down the line, practicing mindset and the process of grounding each time you go on the court is what leads to change and feeling more mentally in control. We will keep you posted on how it goes!